Saturday, January 24, 2009

lil lazy today

Ok, got off facebook so I could get up and get something done. But it's just not happening yet.

Ok, Frank and I officially rock in Human Anatomy and Physiology I. It is going great!--made 25/25 on the first quiz, and 17/15 on the second quiz. oh yeah baby, got us some bonus points! Exam on Thursday? hah! bring it on!!
Well, seriously, we did do some major studying over the weekend. But, I am feeling a tad better about taking the class and getting into nursing school. Thank you God. And I have to say it is kind of fun to study with the same person you've gone to school with since the 3rd grade.

Steven is sick again. Bless his heart, it's always going to be him. I know it has nothing to do with that flu shot he got last Friday, along with the combo of MMR and chicken pox shots. I know they (you know, that infinite and nebulous crowd of people whose opinions matter, and whom you always refer to when trying to make a point) say that the flu shot doesn't make you sick.
And they will probably tell me that in nursing school, too. But why is it that I'm always running into people who started feeling icky after the flu shot? Some full-blown icky, and others only a little. Also, I picked up the vaccine info folder in the dr's office while we were waiting, and read that the flu shot can make you feel icky. And there you have it, folks. Straight from the horse's mouth. I'm just sayin'.

I heard from four California friends in the past couple of weeks. That makes me very happy. Jackie called, Deannah and Emily emailed, and Heather sent me a message on facebook. And they were all substantial, fun talks--not just "hey, how are you?". thank you friends! I miss you and love you too. Deannah just started a blog, "Pretty Much Fabulous", and I've posted the link to the left. Check it out....she's pretty fun, if I do say so myself.

The talent show is coming up. They want me and Kim to pull together the Wicked song we did last year. Sort of "the best of the best show".
It should be fun. (Note to self: call Kim and make sure that's ok with her. Kim, if you're reading this, please call or fb me and let me know if that works for you.)

I am wrestling with the thought of giving up teaching after this semester. So many different directions to go. I really am ok with giving up teaching. I enjoy it very much, but it is becoming increasingly difficult to parent when I work M-F in the afternoons and evenings. We are making it work with the homeschool and everything, but I'm about ready to be done with the stress and the no room to give. You know, like a tight pair of pants with no give? that's the way our lives are right now. And ultimately my husband and children are far higher on the priority list than my students. (although you know I love you all very much!) I feel like I'm not able to do anything very well, b/c I'm doing too much of everything. Right now the plan is, if we get into nursing school, we will put the boys into public school. Which I am totally ok with. I am NOT diehard homeschool. It was just the best option for us since I was teaching at night.

But you know the thing that makes me the saddest about not teaching anymore? It's not the teaching, really. It's the relationships that I've made. Yeah, funny isn't it? I started thinking and praying about it, and realized that I would miss the friendships I've made more than the actual teaching, lol. Which actually makes me feel much better about giving it up; because I know God is continually bringing people in and out of our lives to help us grow. It's just part of life that things change. I learned that first-hand from living in California and leaving the friends I made there. But, I also learned that you really don't lose them, thank goodness. We always have the internet, phones, airplanes, etc. So it really will be ok. And I have to say, I am not getting the teacher burnout that I usually start to get about now--because I know that I should enjoy it while I can. So I think I will.

I've been asked if I will keep on a few students. I don't know if I will or not. I would really like for Rachel to come home next year; take a break from school, and teach for awhile. Because I think she would make a fabulous teacher. And then she could take my students. (hint hint. *grin*) But we'll see. God may be leading her other directions as well. I do know that if I get too busy with school and work--I plan to take a job at the hospital so I can get $$ help with nursing school--teaching will be the first thing to go. My family is too important to sacrifice. Frankie asked me just the other day why he didn't get to see me as much as he wanted. Sorry to admit he had a point...I'm on the go so much that I don't spend as much time with the boys as I need to. So that will change come the beginning of May, when teaching is over. The boys have already been asking me about Spring Valley Beach, and I am excited about having the summer with them to play and have fun before they start at Odenville in the fall.

So, yeah, just a lazy Saturday. Thanks for sharing part of it with me. ttyl.

Saturday, January 10, 2009

Wade in the water

Both literally and figuratively.

A little bummed the rain came back. ugh. I guess I should be glad we're not in drought mode anymore. Out in California they are enjoying the lovely Santa Ana winds. If I were there, my hair would look real good about now.

Also, can I just say, my feelings are a tad hurt that gas has gone back up 30 cents? I know I should be thinking, well at least it's still in the $1.60's. But..I guess my underlying fear is what if it creeps all the way back up to the $4's?

Wading in the water figuratively too...getting my feet wet....with a little class at Jeff State called Human Anatomy and Physiology 1, aka, Biology 201. hmmmm....you ask why? well, to see if I want to get into the nursing program. Long story short, a bunch of what ifs got answered, and so now getting my feet wet is a good idea. If I (that is, we--Frank is taking the class too), do well, then we should be on track to apply for nursing school next spring.

So, madly trying to memorize medical/latin prefix/vocab words for Tuesday's quiz--which, surprisingly enough, are easier than I thought. About half of them actually make sense, such as, aqua--water, calor--heat, cardi--heart, etc. Had our first class and lab on Thursday, and it was actually kinda fun. Anatomy seems to be more interesting than regular old h/s biology. I guess I wasn't really into all the plants and stuff. The only thing that will be intimidating is the microscope stuff. Identifying specimens under a microscope is scary and intimidating...especially since everything looks the same! Heather is very encouraging though, and says that we'll get it, not to worry. um. yeah. ok.

I'll let you know how we do.

Doing ok with the grief thing. It comes and goes. I'm sure it would be even worse if I'd lost an 'already born' child or my husband. Every day has sad and happy moments. I appreciate my family more and am striving to show them in tangible ways. I am trying to be more patient and caring with the kids--and every day has its struggles, but they are much more precious to me since losing the baby. You never know how long you will be able to savor being with the people you love--enjoy it.
Having a real problem sleeping. The day is fine--staying busy is easy. But I lie down at night to sleep and my mind won't shut off. Rebecca warned me about that. Pray if you think about it. Laura recommended soothing music and promised to bring me some. I will try it.
Still have a hard time seeing a pregnant person or a baby. It's an instant physical reaction, a twisting in my gut; of sadness and grief. Today in Walmart, I walked by the baby section (accidentally) and saw the car seats on display. Immediately I was sad, because we'd planned to get a new car seat because our old one was too old. So, the moments come and go. Every day gets a tiny bit easier, and I can see more measurable progress every week. I'm sure it'll always be a poignant subject for me.
But if you are pregnant or have a small baby, don't be feel bad! I still love you. It's just a sad moment for me.

Went back to work this week. I'd considered taking the week off, but felt up to it when the time came. It was good, but draining. I was glad when Saturday got here!

Got some good study time in for the class today, and it just feels weird to be taking a class 6 years after college. I worry if I've still "got it". we'll see.

Leaving you with a verse that brings comfort to me. "I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world."