God Bless America

And God bless our armed forces.

The one I want to spend some time on now is the father of my almost-here nephew, and my brother-in-law, Justin. Justin and Tracy were married on Labor Day weekend last year, and now she is expecting their first baby. And he is serving in Iraq. Please stop and say a prayer for him:

for his safety,
for his sanity,
for his testimony,
for his Christian witness,
for his wife,
for his child,
for his protection,
and for God to bless him.

I heard "God Bless America" and "The Star-Spangled Banner" today at the Angels Baseball game, and was struck with the thought that I am able to go to a baseball game b/c my brother-in-law and his compatriots are keeping us safe and free.

Justin, we love and miss you! Come home soon and know that we are praying for you and Trace. love, Amber

God Bless America.

Memorial Day

Well, since today is Memorial Day, I would like to remember my Grandfather. A year ago this month, we buried my granddad on my Dad's side. He was 80 years old. His name was Ellis Vance Ewing, Sr. (Funny that when I married, my last name became Ellis:o) Here are some things I remember about his life:

He loved to fish.

He had a fishing buddy named George, who, when I was little, I used to call "Grammaw". (George was the first person I remember seeing as a kid who had grey hair, and I thought if you had grey hair, you were supposed to be a grandma)

Grandad also loved his t.v. By the time I got to know him, he was older and had slowed down considerably. His favorite things to watch were college football, old westerns, and the game show network. He was a master with that remote. He could change those channels almost faster than lightning!

"Is your daddy a glassmaker?" I probably heard him say those words more than everything else he told me put together. Granddad had a funny sarcastic side and if you got in the way of the t.v., he would grunt that phrase; which meant, "get out of the way--I'm can't see the t.v." And if he didn't say it fast enough, someone else would jump in and say it.

We always saw them--Nanny and Granddad on Thanksgiving and/or Christmas. If not to eat, then at least to drop in and say "hey". The holidays always centered around food, t.v., and Christmas gifts. And of course, catching up on what cousins were up to in the last year since we'd seen them all. I think it is a shame that we don't get together more often than once a year--and I am as much to blame as anyone. I really do have a great family. Always tell myself that we're too busy, but living so far away has changed me. I don't take things for granted anymore.

Granddad fought in WWII. Since he didn't like to talk about his war experiences, mostly we heard the stories from my dad. One story that we tell and re-tell is the story of Granddad's sword that he brought back from Japan. The hilt of the sword is a dragon's head, with rubies for eyes. Rumor has it that it belonged to an old Japanese warlord, and every time we tell the story, the sword grows about 2 inches and gets 100 years older. It is very cool. There are also stories of buddies he lost and sadness in the Japanese wilderness. We didn't really talk about those too much. Granddad wasn't really keen on remembering who he'd lost, and I can't say that I blame him.

Granddad hung sheetrock for a living. All or most of his brothers did, and most if not all of his nephews and sons do too. The Ewings are like the Drywall Dynasty in the south. Everyone knows Pidd, Podd, Calvin, Junebug, Hoochie, Mike, Steve, and all the rest who I don't even remember their names. They were (and are) known for being FAST and skilled at their jobs.
One thing I really admire about Granddad is that he worked up til 3 weeks before he died (at 80). Even at 65, he never did really retire. I think he went bored and stir-crazy. His life just revolved around work, so he kept at it. Usually worked 3 days a week. When he finally got sick, it was colon cancer, and it just up and hit him one day. One day he got up and went to work, and the next day he was laid up in the hospital sick. By then, the cancer was too far gone, and the doctors told him it didn't look good. I remember about a week later, I saw him and knew that this time it was for real. He'd lived through 2 heart attacks and a bypass, but this was it. Thankfully, he wasn't sick for very long, and did not suffer. He just sat down in his favorite chair, fought it for a few moments and then went to sleep. And most of the family got to be there with him when he passed.

He left so many of us. 4 kids, 15 grandkids, and 5 greats. Oh and Nanny, who just keeps going too. Nanny still works at the day care, but she has struggled with her health--she had an eye cancer a while back, which dr's were able to help; but now she is struggling with heart disease. She is great too--no matter how many grands and greats we produced, somehow Nan and Granddad were able to get EVERYONE a little something for Christmas! I never understood how they did it, but they did. It's like their labor of love for the family, and I appreciate their generosity. I also appreciate knowing that they would always be there for every Christmas, and we could go and "catch up". As an adult, I realize that life won't always be like that. But I am going to call Nanny today and catch up. The older I get, the fewer things I take for granted.

*If you are a family member and/or friend who knew Granddad, please leave a comment and tell me what you remember about him. Love y'all!!

LOL!!!

My boss sent these to me and I can't quit laughing. I don't know if it's just because it's Friday at 3 p.m.--I'm still at work and I need the laugh, or what?! Anyway, thought I'd post real quick and share the fun. Please leave a comment and let me know which was your favorite:

Bumper Stickers

Back Up My Hard Drive? How do I Put it in Reverse?

Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film.

When the chips are down, the buffalo is empty.

Seen it all, done it all, can't remember most of it.

Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.

I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.

He's not dead, He's electroencephalographically challenged.

She's always late. Her ancestors arrived on the June Flower.

You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.

I wonder how much deeper would the ocean be without sponges.

Honk if you love peace and quiet.

Pardon my driving, I am reloading.

Nothing is fool-proof to a sufficiently talented fool.

A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.

Save the whales. Collect the whole set.

Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

On the other hand, you have different fingers.

Change is inevitable. Except from a vending machine.

"Out of my mind.  Back in five minutes."

"I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian."

"When there's a will, I want to be in it."

"Okay, who stopped the payment on my reality check?"

Thoughts on Homeschool

I've been thinking more and more of homeschooling lately. All this time, I've been completely opposed to it: no social interaction, I don't want to quit work, I don't think I'm capable of doing it, etc.

First, you need a little background. Prepare yourself for an extremely long post. If you have something pressing, like, going to the bathroom or getting supper started; I suggest you do that and come back later. :o)

Yesterday, the boys and I went to Legoland by ourselves. With no one else but us. And for the first time I can remember, I had the boys with me, just us, and we'd gone somewhere far away to have fun. I came upon a small epiphany. Nothing as big as say, discovering Jesus' redemptive work or anything; but still an epiphany to me. I realized that I am, for the first time in 6 years, comfortable with being a mother and taking care of my own children all by myself. I've finally understood that for 6 years I've been hiding behind my mother, my husband, my best friend, my work, other friends, school, etc, etc. So that I wouldn't have to take care of them alone. Because I was afraid. What if I am a bad mother? What if I can't take care of them? Anxiety and Insecurity are the Burdens on my back. And yesterday changed it all. I think the change has been coming for quite some time though: a year in fact.

See, a year is how long it's been since I moved away from most of my comfort zones. And God has been slowly dragging me out of my shell and developing my independence in the world, and my dependence on Him. Remember my post about going to the library alone? It was happening then and I didn't know it. Then last Sunday, I desperately needed to go the the store (called the market out here) and for the first time, I couldn't leave the boys at home with Frank--he was just too tired from studying and completely zonked. The whole time I've had my children, I've always looked for ways to leave them at home when I ran errands--it's just too hard to take them with me; takes too much time, energy, effort, blah, blah. Looking back, I think deep down it was that anxiety/insecurity issue again. ("how can I be old enough to be the mother? what if we are in a terrible accident and they get killed?" "I don't have the confidence to do it." As I write these thoughts, it occurs to me that this feels a lot like the post- partum depression I went thru. Maybe I've carried a tiny part of it with me and just didn't know it.)

Anyway, we went to Sam's and Walmart and did fine. Then, Thursday nite, I needed to run to the store for some stuff for work on Friday, meaning it couldn't wait til the weekend. Since Frank is studying for finals, and Sunday went well; I decided to take the boys with me on Thursday nite. That is HUGE for me--usually after work, I am tired and don't feel like going to the store, much less dragging 2 boys with me. Well, it went fine--AND we went to 3 different stores! I was more tired than normal when we got home, but we made it.

So, every day this week, Steven asks if we can go to Disneyland again. Everyday we've been putting him off b/c of busyness: work and school. I was beginning to feel differently however. We can't go to disney b/c our passes are only good on certain dates, but the passes to Legoland are good anytime. So that's what we did. Me and the boys made the hour and 15 minute drive down to Carlsbad and we did just fine. In fact, we had a blast!! including me!! As we were driving home, I thought to myself: 'Wow, my children really are quite enjoyable, I want to do this again sometime soon. I wish I didn't have to work. If we homeschooled, we could do this all the time.' and so on.

Hence the title of this post: Thoughts on Homeschooling.

I don't know if we will do it. I had a conversation with Frank last nite when we got home that pretty much consisted of all of the above. He was glad to see how much I've grown, but that doesn't mean he's ready to jump into a whole new way of life. Plus, it's a difficult way of life: lesson plans, schoolwork, being COMPLETELY responsible for the education of your children. And we depend on my income right now. So, it will have to wait a little while. We have at least a year to think and pray. Please pray for us that we will make the right decision. I don't want it to be for selfish reasons: I don't want to work, I want my children with me, I want that emotional satisfaction, I want to shelter my children (i.o.w. hide them from real life), I want complete control of my children's education. All of these reasons boil down to: pride, selfishness, laziness, etc. But right reasons would include: Being able to spend time with my children, being able to teach them a Christian worldview, giving them more extra-curricular activities without piling that onto an already full school day, having the flexibility to pick up and go when needed. If you think of any more, let me know. (*Crissy, call me. I know you've probably got some good advice, enough to fill another post!)

Mother's Day

So I have something terrible to confess:

I forgot to call my mother on Mother's Day.

I woke up Monday morning with a strange sinking feeling of "there is something really important that I forgot to do yesterday, but I can't remember what it is..."

Oops. But, problem is, and I know this should be no excuse, I was so busy this past weekend! This is what I got done:

-packed several more boxes to move
-got the house clean
-excercised
-performed 2 concerts with the chorale--one in Pasadena (which is far away)
-took the boys swimming
-did the grocery shopping
-cooked all meals
-washed 3 loads of clothes
-baked brownies
and on and on and on.

Excuses, excuses. Unfortunately, I didn't get the one thing done that was the most important thing:
To call MY mother and wish her a happy Mother's Day. So, Mom, if you read this, just know that I love you very much, and now that I know what it's like to BE a mom, I'll never take you for granted ever again. Happy Mother's Day!! (belated of course.)(*Note: I called her Monday morning, and after holding out for a while, she finally forgave me for being so forgetful.:o)

I received this through a forwarded email and it's opinions on mothers as expressed by select 2nd graders:

Why God made Moms
Why did God make mothers?
1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.
2. Mostly to clean the house.
3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.


How did God make mothers?
1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring
3. God made my Mom just the same like he made me. He jused bigger parts.


What ingredients are mothers made of?
1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean.
2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use
string, I think.


Why did God give you your mother and not some other mom?
1. We're related
2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's moms like me.

What kind of little girl was your mom?
1. My mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff.
2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty
bossy.
3. They say she used to be nice.


What did mom need to know about dad before she married him?
1. His last name.
2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer?
3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to
chores?


Why did your mom marry your dad?
1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my Mom eats a lot.
2. She got too old to do anything else with him.
3. My grandma says that Mom didn't have her thinking cap on.


Who's the boss at your house?
1. Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dad's such a goof ball.
2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.
3 . I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad.


What's the difference between moms & dads?
1. Moms work at work and work at home & dads just go to work at work.
2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.
3. Dads are taller & stronger, but moms have all the real power 'cause that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friend's.
4. Moms have magic, they make you feel better without medicine.


What does your mom do in her spare time?
1. Mothers don't do spare time.
2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.


What would it take to make your mom perfect?
1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of
plastic surgery.
2. Diet. You know, her hair. I'd diet, maybe blue.


If you could change one thing about your Mom, what would it be?
1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of that.
2. I'd make my Mom smarter. Then she would know it was my brother who did it and not me.
3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of
her head.



Happy Mother's Day!

I am the grownup

Do you ever feel like you are a kid in an adult's body, and that you should still call your mom to ask permission to take the car out? Sometimes I feel like that. The other day I was on my way to the library to pick up something to read, and I was alone in the car--and I had the strangest feeling of: I need to let someone know what I'm doing--feel like I should ask permission! Or, when I'm taking the boys to the park, and it's just me and them; it feels surreal, like: I am not old enough to be taking them to the park by myself! *laugh*

I know that I am 27 years old and have been "of age" for quite some time now, but I still get that feeling of: I can't believe this is my life! I can't believe I am old enough to be married for 7 1/2 years and have 2 children; one of whom is already 5 years old, going on 6!! I mean, I just got married yesterday! Or did I?...

Some of the time, I look back and think: Wow, we've done so much in our married life; lived so many different places, made lots of friends, etc. But most of the time, it's the opposite--I think: Wow, it feels like just yesterday was my wedding day, the births of Frankie and Steven, etc. It's like a time warp--time is really creeping AND flying by all at once! I think part of it too is that I live so far away from everything I've ever known. It is COMPLETELY surreal to me that I am driving to the library in Fullerton, California! of all places to be! Growing up, I would never have thought that the path of my life could've brought me this far from home. But it is such an interesting journey.

On that note, I do have to admit that my horizons have been broadened since moving here. And, after living here 11 months, I must also admit that I am finally getting used to being here. I'd been warned to give it at least a year for the homesickness to subside--and they were right--I am getting more used to it.

I've also found that I am much more patient than I used to be, and more independent. Always been a homebody, but it's kind of hard to maintain the homebodiness when you're 2,000 miles away from home, heehee. I used to not like to go public places by myself; i.e. amusement parks, regular parks, even the grocery store. But heck, I go to the library by myself (I've come a long way). I know that seems kind of silly, but I was just never very independent. I can see now that God has been pushing me out of my comfort zone for a while, and I've grown by leaps and bounds. Let's see what He'll do in the next 12 months...

Trader Joe's

One thing that I love about California is a store called Trader Joe's. It's fashioned after trading posts in the 1800's, and they have a little of everything. Some produce/dairy/meat, but also organic stuff and vitamins. You can't do all your grocery shopping there, but you can get a lot of it, at very good prices. They buy whole sale from manufacturers, and all their food is very good for you--organic, no preservatives, etc. That's one thing I hate about buying organic/no hormones/antibiotics, etc; is that those things cost twice as much as the regular stuff. So you have to make a decision: 1. be extra healthy and spend a lot more $$ buying all natural/organic, or 2. be as healthy as you can and take the cheaper alternatives; like Tyson's hormone-laden chicken or Barber's antibiotic-laced milk. Granted, I still buy a lot of my stuff from a regular grocery store (I should buy stock in Tyson's); but today at Trader Joe's, I picked up organic baby spinach for $1.79/bag, with a good date and cheaper than the Fresh Express Variety at the grocery store. I also got several all natural frozen meals--like stouffers or lean cuisine family dinners for less than $5 apiece. My favorite is box mac 'n cheese--all organic cheese and pasta, for 79 cents a box. It's so cool to be able to eat more healthy for the same price, or in some cases, cheaper. If you're interested, check out their website at www.traderjoes.com

Now if they'll just open up one back home, I'll be good. I think I'll email the company and suggest it.

Europe

So I need to update you about my music opportunities. After dropping out of the music program at Biola, I was sad, and decided to do a search on the internet to find community choirs in and around my town. I wanted to find a group that would challenge me musically without being too hard. I found a choir through a college called "Chorale Bel Canto".

They mostly do classical music, and I had to audition with an aria--from opera or oratorio. Since at the time, I knew from their website that the next concert was featuring Bach, I decided to do the Bach aria I'd done at my recital. (Less work on my part! didn't have to learn anything new.) Well, the director was very kind, and I like him--he invited me to sit in on the rehearsal to see if I liked it, then I could sing for him. Everything went well, and I joined the choir that night. We had our first concert at the end of March, and it focused on Baroque music--hard! Kicked my butt, in a good way. Now we are working on Mozart's Mass in C Minor, which is very beautiful music, and even more challenging than the Bach. But I am loving it.

Oh, and I keep forgetting to tell you that I got to sing on Easter Sunday. The choir participates in a sunrise service at Rose Hills Cemetary here in CA(it's the biggest cemetary I've ever seen, miles and miles), and I was asked to sing the solo: the spiritual "Were you there?" at the very beginning of the service. It was cool-- dark, so I couldn't see all the people, but they told us later that there were about 1500 people there. Cool!! I wasn't really nervous b/c I couldn't SEE anyone, heehee. The service was beautiful; reverent and sacred. Hard to explain, but there's something about celebrating the resurrection of Christ around the same time of day as the disciples and women first saw Him.

Ok, now I get to the reason for this post. The choir is going to Europe this summer and I get to go too!!!!!! I am elated! Never gotten to do anything like this before in my life. The price is very good, and we are touring Austria and Hungary, singing the Mozart music. Didn't want to mention anything sooner, as there were a lot of variables: had to get permission from work and make sure we had the $$. (Tax returns and earned income credit are great!) I'm also thankful my husband is willing to live without me for 16 days (8/1-8/16). That'll be the hard part--being separated from my boys. But it is the opportunity of a lifetime. Now onto passport and electric outlet converters, whoohoo! :o)