I am the grownup

Do you ever feel like you are a kid in an adult's body, and that you should still call your mom to ask permission to take the car out? Sometimes I feel like that. The other day I was on my way to the library to pick up something to read, and I was alone in the car--and I had the strangest feeling of: I need to let someone know what I'm doing--feel like I should ask permission! Or, when I'm taking the boys to the park, and it's just me and them; it feels surreal, like: I am not old enough to be taking them to the park by myself! *laugh*

I know that I am 27 years old and have been "of age" for quite some time now, but I still get that feeling of: I can't believe this is my life! I can't believe I am old enough to be married for 7 1/2 years and have 2 children; one of whom is already 5 years old, going on 6!! I mean, I just got married yesterday! Or did I?...

Some of the time, I look back and think: Wow, we've done so much in our married life; lived so many different places, made lots of friends, etc. But most of the time, it's the opposite--I think: Wow, it feels like just yesterday was my wedding day, the births of Frankie and Steven, etc. It's like a time warp--time is really creeping AND flying by all at once! I think part of it too is that I live so far away from everything I've ever known. It is COMPLETELY surreal to me that I am driving to the library in Fullerton, California! of all places to be! Growing up, I would never have thought that the path of my life could've brought me this far from home. But it is such an interesting journey.

On that note, I do have to admit that my horizons have been broadened since moving here. And, after living here 11 months, I must also admit that I am finally getting used to being here. I'd been warned to give it at least a year for the homesickness to subside--and they were right--I am getting more used to it.

I've also found that I am much more patient than I used to be, and more independent. Always been a homebody, but it's kind of hard to maintain the homebodiness when you're 2,000 miles away from home, heehee. I used to not like to go public places by myself; i.e. amusement parks, regular parks, even the grocery store. But heck, I go to the library by myself (I've come a long way). I know that seems kind of silly, but I was just never very independent. I can see now that God has been pushing me out of my comfort zone for a while, and I've grown by leaps and bounds. Let's see what He'll do in the next 12 months...